This is what happens when boredom strikes.

I like MySpace better than FaceBook.


I hate to go to bed early.

People change.

Kids are cruel.

I listen to country music.

I have learned that the only person you can trust is yourself.

I should probably listen to my parents and friends more often instead of being so stubborn.

I love people that can make me laugh on a bad day.

I’m going to be a writer and a social worker when I grow up.

I want to have a big family. (Five kids, three girls, two boys. Mallory, Leah, Chase, Samuel, and Alyssa).

I have so many great childhood memories.

I love running.

I wish I was a better person.

I love to argue… not really sure that’s a good thing.

I have an emotional attachment to my flash drive.

I hate Wal-Mart.

I suck at Monopoly. Really bad.

I forgive, whether I make it known or not.

I like being by myself a lot.

I would rather talk about you than me.

My room is always clean, or else I will have a melt down.

If I lose a book, it may as well be the end of the world.

I’m a very, very picky eater.

I only eat one thing at a time and nothing can touch anything else on the plate.

Thunder storms sometimes scare me. Mostly if they wake me up in the middle of the night. They make me jump.

I have THE cutest/ sweetest boyfriend ever.

My favorite movie is My Cousin Vinny. I LOVE Ralph Macchio.

Photography is a small passion of mine.

I always order strawberry lemonade in a restaurant. If they don’t have it, then they suck. And I get sweet tea.

I’ve been a cheerleader since I was seven. AAAAND the fact that I’m not this year thoroughly depresses me.

I love to dance.

I turn 16 in December.

I happen to love the movie Mulan.

I hate my hair.

I have green eyes, but I wear contacts a lot.

I will go to Ireland before I die. I will.

I hate shots. I cry.

As long as I get sticker though I’m good. ^^^

I hate Twilight.

I’m getting tired of typing this.

Bye-bye now.

96 Reasons I hate Twilight.

1. Bella is a perfect character, which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.


2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.

3. She can’t do anything without Edward.

4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.

5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.

6. The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.

7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.

8. Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.

9. The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.

10. Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.

11. Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.

12. The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.

13. If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?

14. Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.

15. Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t question her? Real parents aren’t that way.

16. Lack of character development.

17. Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.

18. People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.

19. Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.

20. It’s too cliché.

21. This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.

22. Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.

23. You don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.

24. Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of “Show, don’t tell”?

25. She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.

26. Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.

27. Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.

28. There is too much face touching.

29. It’s predictable, and childish.

30. We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.

31. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.

32. Vampires can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!

33. Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.

34. People think Meyer is the best writer ever.

35. The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.

36. Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.

37. Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?

38. It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?

39. They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.

40. Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.

41. Every Other Facebookbumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.

42. Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.

43. Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.

44. It’s stupid.

45. Bella.

46. Bella is Edward’s beard.

47. Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.

48. Straight men sparkle?

49. It’s teeming with grammatical errors.

50. Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.

51. Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.

52. Do any guys actually like Twilight?

53. If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.

54. There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.

55. They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.

56. They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.

57. It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.

58. Edward is HOT. We get it.

59. She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.

60. There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.

61. All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as… “What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”

62. And this… “do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? you shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”

63. And this… “you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”

64. Isn’t funny how Twilight fans can’t spell and use proper capitalization? By the way,61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.

65. The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.

66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.

67. Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.

68. We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.

69. Vampires vs. werewolves (isn’t that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)

70. There’s nothing worse than a fan girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep reading those books, chickies.

71. This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.

72. Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.

73. WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight Fan Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the ‘cool vampire powers’ they gained from reading the series. Awesome!

74. Even if you like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.

75. Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.

76. “And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.

77. A hundred years difference = pedophile.

78. It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If you leave me, I will kill myself.”

79. Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.

80. New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward

81. You may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.

82. Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I love him.’

83. The only reason I kept reading was to see if Bella could redeem herself by getting over him.

84. Jacob, who didn’t abuse Bella and was nice to her, was dumped and she chose Edward. Hmm, masochistic much?

85. Ms. Meyer writes the way I did when I was twelve years old, doodling in my journal.

86. “It would have been much better if Jacob and Edward discovered they were gay: no sequels, no whiny Bella. Amen to that.”

87. Many people have enjoyed the making of this, many have helped with it too…in other words lots of people hate Twilight.

88. You are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight fans don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.

89. Your grandmother doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.

90. “Cause it’s dumb.” – Random Person on the Street

91. “It’s annoying as hell.” – Random Person on the Street #2

92. Martin Luther would not have not have approved if the book was written during his lifetime.

93. Harry Potter could beat Edward any day with his magic powers.

94. It’s offensive to the entire human race, both male and female.

95. If Edward is so hot, get some one ALOT fucking sexier than Robert Pattinson to play him in the movie. Thanks.

96. The book was so bad we wrote 95 reasons why we hate it.

Hey! Shrink! Leave me alone!

Dr. Huston,



Hello. I would like to apologize ahead of time if any of this letter comes off as rude, or if I sound to you like I am a bratty fifteen-year-old with an attitude problem. Sometimes that just happens.

I've noticed you always get up in the air about me using the word “really”. And you always say the same thing: “Why would you use that word? What’s the point? It’s a useless word.” No word in the world is useless. Every word (just like everything else in life) has a use of some sort. I’m pretty sure I recall you telling me once that “You don’t always have to please other people” so if I choose "really" when I want to use an intensifier, I'm not sure why I should care what you think of it.

I don’t feel it is your place to correct my speech. That is what my English teacher is for. We’re not paying you to correct my speech. Maybe I don’t like some things about the way you speak, either. And while I understand that you are trying to see how I think, I'm sure there are more sympathetic ways of going about it. Criticizing and arguing with me might show you how I think, but it puts me on the defensive. It feels hurtful.

During our meetings, it seems to me you don't listen to what I’m saying to you. You hear it, but I don’t feel that you are truly LISTENING to what I am trying to tell you. I always thought that a psychologist was supposed to be someone helpful that you could talk to and feel like you’re working through things. Dr. Hutson, when I talk to you, I don’t feel like I’m working through anything. I feel put on the spot. Arguing with you only makes me feel awful. It reflects badly on me because I am the fifteen-year-old and I should have respect for you. But you don’t seem to care to communicate respect for me, in the way you speak to me. My mother and father aren’t the only problems I have, and rather than making petty criticism of my superficial habits a part of our sessions, I'd appreciate it if you'd take a few minutes to ask me what is on MY mind, and really listen. If you can correct the way I talk, you can certainly ask what else is bothering me, and try to help me find insight rather than just finding fault.

'Really' is just my way of emphasizing a point. Just like many others might say 'very', or 'quite' or 'truly', even, I use 'really' because that's how my speech patterns developed. I'm trying to stress something that seems important to me. According to most dictionaries, 'really' can be used in place of 'actually' or 'truly'. For example, in the phrase 'a really honest man', we have the word standing in for 'truly', and in 'horseshoe crabs aren't really crabs', it's standing in for 'actually.'

Seeing as I'm fifteen-years-old, and I've been speaking this way for years, I honestly don’t believe I should have to change the way I speak just for you. It does not help me when you harp on my choice of words. I’m a lot younger than you, and I haven’t gone to college yet, so my speech isn’t going to be as good as you’d like. Can't you just accept that?

I expect I am going to continue to use the word “really” unless you can point out respectfully how I'd benefit from making the effort to change my habit. I will try to stop saying “I don’t know” for your sake. I’m sorry I have a verbal pattern that you apparently find annoying, but I’m Anni, not John Hutson and that’s the way it is.


Sincerely,
- Margaret Anne York

The Bucket List.

Learn French.

Fall in love.


Jump off a cliff into deep water.


Go to Colorado.


Go rock climbing.


See the Northern Lights.


Visit the Pyramds of Giza.


Go to New York.


Visit the Sears Tower in Chicago.


Adopt a little girl from Vietnam.


Learn Calligraphy.


Read all of Agatha Christie's mystery novels.


Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty.


Finish High School.


Volunteer at a nursing home.


Write and publish a book. ♥


Get married.


Have a large family.


Swim with dolphins.


Live in a Colonial house.


Stop worrying.


Watch the sunset.


Be truly happy.


Visit all 50 states.


Stay up for 24 hours.


Bowl a 200.


Be in a play.


Perfect my cursive handwriting.


Ride on a train.


Try hang gliding.


Go to a school dance.


Make my father proud of me.


Own a car.


Write a love note.


Sprinkle salt on railroad tracks (yes, I know this is illegal).


Wear a bracelet without taking it off for a year.


Roll down a hill on my side.


Get a henna tattoo.


Be myself around some one and not give a damn what they think.


Get certified in CPR.


Go camping- JUST ONCE.


Plant a tree.


Visit the Statue of Liberty.


Hear my mom say she's proud of me.


Paint a pretty picture.


Apologize to my mother, grandmother, step dad, and a few other people for hurting them in the ways I did.


Tell my mother to kiss my ass.

Life Lessons by Anni York.

1. Never hire a colorblind techinician.

2. If God didn't want me to do it, He would have stopped me.

3. If you're going to talk about me behind my back, then you're already in the position to kiss my ass.

4. Life isn't a garden, so don't be a hoe.

5. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe "Daylight Saving Time."

6. If you say you want to 'be some body', you should probably be more specific.

7. Life isn't fair, but it's all good.

8. Life is too short to spend time hating some one.... but who gives a shit. Do it anyway!

9. Parents don't like having to pick you up from the county jail at one in the morning.

10. No matter what happens, some body will find a way to take it too seriously.

11. The girl is always right. Always.

12. When a girl says "You can pick", what she really means is "Whatever you pick will be wrong."

13. Life isn't measured by how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. Just don't hold your breath too long.

14. Be willing to die for some one. LOL JK that'd kill you.

15. It takes more effort to yell at some one than it does to bitch slap them.

16. There is a very fine line between "liking" and "stalking".

17. When trouble come around and things look bad, there is always one person who comes up with a solution and is willing to take command. Most of the time, that person is crazy.

18. Parents just wanna be the boss.

19. Lead, follow, or get out of the damn way.

20. Don't always rely on the flower.

21. Love is awkward, but so is becoming a crazy cat lady.

22. If you're not going to talk, you have to talk about not talking.

23. Your heart is not broken. If it was, you'd be dead. Shut up.

24. It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth shut than to open it and prove it.

25. You're not as alone as you feel.

26. Freak out sometimes.

27. If you run through a store yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?" at fifteen, it will embarrass the hell out of your mother.

28. There shall always be bitches, bitch.

29. If you turn two puppies loose in Wal-Mart, every time after that the clerks will look at you suspiciously.

30. Saying "fuck you too" to a preacher is a bad idea.

31. Telling a girl named Angel to go to hell is always hilarious. Always.

32. Just because some one has a hard head, doesn't mean a beer bottle won't knock them out.

That is all. Unless I think of more. :D

Story Time #1

Hmm.. I really don't have anything better to write about, sooo, I may as well write about some of the hell me, Evan, Luke, Chris, Robert, Ace, Cody, and Brayden have raised in our cozy little small town.

Okay, well there's this old lady that lives down the road and she has the prettiest yard in town. Her grass is super green and thick, and she has these beautiful flowers in front of her house. But, this old lady also happened to be a ninety-year-old bitch.

When we were playing soccer or just throwing around a football, sometimes the ball would go into her yard and some one would have to go get it. Well everything we went into her yard to get the ball, she would come flying out of that damn house and screaming and waving a baseball bat at us and yelling "Get out of my yard you ragmuffins! Out! Go on! Get!"

Welllllll, eventually no one would want to go get the ball when it would bounce over into Miss Mabel's yard. So we would end up strawing straws, picking numbers, or shit to see who would have to go get the ball. So eventually one day it was my turn.

I swear I was only two steps into this old bitch's yard and we hadn't seen her all damn day, but here she comes flying out of her house with that fucking baseball bat and yelling at me. I turned around and looked at Evan and he just kept shaking his head and giving me the "Anni, don't say a damn word." look. So, I didn't.

I got the ball and left, but the fact that I didn't say anything back to her bugged me for the entire rest of the day. So later that night we were sitting on Evan's front porch and I noticed all this Round-Up sitting in the corner (the weed/ grass killer stuff) and I turned and looked at Evan and said "How much of that do you have?" and he just kind of looked at me and said "Well, quite a bit I guess. Why?" I just smiled and looked back at the Round-Up and Evan gets the "Oh shit" look on his face and says "Anni, you're not." To which I reply to with "Hell yes, I am. Let me borrow that Round-Up for just a little bit."

I took the Round-Up and headed back toward Miss Mabel's house. ORIGINALLY I was going down there to spray the Round-Up on her pretty flowers and kill them. But I felt bad about that, because the flowers didn't do anything to anybody. So, I came up with another idea.

I got down there and started spraying the Round-Up on her yard and measured about five feet length wise (close to the road, where everyone would be able to see it when they drove by) and kept spraying until when I was done she had "BITCH" sprayed in her yard with Round-Up.

Well it took three days for the grass to finally die and everyone could see her lovely message in the yard, and the police came to Evan's house one day when I was there and asked him about it.

Evan just laughed and said, "Sir, I didn't have shit to do with it."

And the police officer just looked at him and said "I bet you know who did, though."

Evan laughed again and shook his head and said, "Sir, I did not have SHIT to do with that." (All this with all the Round-Up bottles sitting right there on the front porch where the cops could see it, too) and I just sat back in my chair and laughed my ass off. The police left, and Miss Mabel's yard yelled "BITCH" for about two months afterward.

Bitch never fucked with us again, though.

(:

Flaws.

Step One: What do you consider to be your biggest flaw?

Hmm... probably one of three things: I'm selfish, I'm stubborn, and I tend to hold grudges. But in my defense, I get those qualities honestly.... isn't that right, Mother?


Step Two: Can you fix these flaws?

Could I? Well sure, probably. Will I? Ehh, probably not... I'm not a big fan of changing something about myself just because some one has a problem with it. I guess that's probably another flaw, too...



Step Three: Do you address your flaws?

No... but I do use them to my full advantage.



Step Four: Would you be willing to let go of all your flaws?

That would make me flawless, which means perfect... nah. I'm good. I'd probably fuck up being perfect, too.



Step Five: What has this Flaw Survey done for you?

Wasted a good fifteen minutes. Thanks, buddy!

You Wanna Know About Me? Here It Is.

My name is Anni York. Although I am also known by Jordan, Miami, and Abby. If you don't know what those mean, you probably don't need to.

Cheerleading and Writing are what my life revolves around. Although sometimes I let them go for a while, they are always the two things I come back to when I need something to cling to. And yes, I do think I'm pretty good at them.

I suck at contact sports. Like really bad. I'm not very aggressive, so I usually pass at football, basketball, baseball, and soccer. Although I do find volleyball pretty fun.

Country music is the best. Even if no one else listens to it. Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Randy Travis, and George Strait are gods. ♥

My little brothers are the cutest. Everyone agrees. You may as well deal with it. They'll break hearts some day.

I have been arrested five times, all for just being a stupid teenager in a small town with nothing better to do... I have learned alot from my time in the slammer and the biggest thing is this: parents do not appreciate one o'clock in the morning phone calls for them to come and get you from the county jailhouse.

I hate Wal-Mart. For two reasons. Don't ask what they are, if I want you to know, I'll tell you. Case closed.

My boyfriend is amazing. He makes me smile. He's the best thing in the world. I've never been this happy, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Since 23 January 2010 I've been the happiest I've ever been with anybody before, and I feel like you've been to hell and back with me even though I've only known you five months. You've been there with me through arguements with my mom, Evan, my dad, and you. You also helped me get through losing one of my best friends. Even though sometimes I think you're crazy and other times I think you're just a complete jerk, I love you, and I wouldn't trade you for anything, Robert. ♥

I've been called a nerd so many times I'd be rich if I had a dime for each. But I don't really mind being called a nerd... I'll be the one laughing when you can't get a job.

My mom and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye on alot of things, but I guess you could say we're working on it. It's getting better as fast as you can expect it to. And after seven months, I think I might have finally found it in my heart to forgive her... but that doesn't mean I want a solid relationship with her after I turn 18... I'm still struggling with that battle in my heart. After being hurt over and over I don't know what to feel. If you've got a problem with our problems then go to hell. They're none of your business anyway.

Yeah, I have an older brother that no one really knows about. His name is Josh, and he's actually pretty cool. And once again, if you don't know the whole story, you don't need to.

Computers and eletronics absolutely hate me... I have no idea why. Although after seven years of writing I think I've got the hang of Microsoft Word pretty good. As long as they don't change it... Oh God, please don't change it!

I hate small towns. Everybody knows everybody's business, and it kills me. If I don't know what I'm doing then some one else does. Oh, and I also hate every small town diner in the country. I don't even have to go to know this.

I'm an extremely picky eater, and I get teased for it alot. Oh well, I like what I like.

I'm pretty stubborn, whether you think so or not. I do what I want when I get ready to. No one really has the reins on me, and if you think you do then you're wrong.

Nancy Grace is my reason for staying up late. I love her show.

I want to be a writer and a paralegal when I grow up, but what I think will actually happen is me being a writer and a private investegator like my dad. I just have a feeling that's the way my life is headed.

Yeah, I do get jealous pretty easily if you're demanding every minute of time of some one I happen to really care about. Like my dad, my best friend, or my boyfriend. Sorry if that bothers you, but I think they're a little bit more mine than yours. And maybe that's totally wrong of me to think, but I guess that's my problem.

I'm also really selfish.  Mostly I just care about myself and what works for me, and I could really care less about what goes on in your world. Unless it's Evan or Robert, or some one else really close to me. And there's only a couple hadfuls of those. So if I ask you what's wrong, I really care. If I don't, I warned you.

As far as religion goes, I've been raised a Southern Baptist, and I guess that's what I'll always be. I agree with religion 100% but the thing that keeps me from being 100% devoted to it is the fact that for my whole life people have been shoving it down my throat. "Pray about it, Anni." and "Give it to God, Anni." Seriously, stop. It's my life. Let me and good ole God handle, okay? I'll decide what I ask Him for, and what I pray to Him about. And no, I don't act like a good little Christian girl, which is why I don't wear the shirts, sing the songs, or tell people I'm a regular church goer. You're supposed to act it, not live a double life. So, I choose not to live a double life, and the life I live all the time doesn't point directly towards God. Sorry if that offends you, but hey, you don't have to do it yourself.

I've been told so many times that I have a low-self esteem. Actually, no I don't. I just don't choose to act like an egotistical asshole all the time. I do have confidence in myself, but if I really do suck at something, I'm not going to pat myself on the back and say "Yaaaaaay, Anni! You failed! Good job, girl!" No, just no. That's stupid. I know what I'm good at and I stick to it, and if you ask me if I'm a good writer, yeah, I am. And if you don't think so then that's fair enough. I'm not going to argue with you about it. I have better things to do with those breaths.

Evan Coffman is my best friend. He always has been. Damn, this boy has been with me through literally everything I've gone through in my life. Fights, sickness, tears, pain, sorry, joy, happiness, love, and hate. Anytime I call him and ask him for help I have never once heard him say "What's in it for me?" or "Why should I?" No, he simply says "Yeah, sure, anything I can do to help." Even if I call him and don't say a word, just cry into the phone, he never sighs with impatience or makes up an excuse to go. He just sits there quietly and patiently until I've gotten everything out. We've had our fights, most definately, but I know that we'll always make it through them. Because that's what best friends do. They lean on each other. (P.S. Forks everywhere...)

My dad is some one who's words always seem to either make me smile or cry or both. He's never been harsh to me, and even when he's correcting me he does it in a way that I don't feel like I'm about to die or get in some big trouble. He's never really let me down in any way that I can think of, and while he does get on my nerves every now and then, I still love him very much.

Babies and little kids bring out the best in me. I can work with them really easily, and I'd love to be a mom some day... but I really don't want to have to raise a child like me. I've always heard what goes around comes around, and if that's true all I have to say is OH SHIT!

No, I don't have my permit. No, I don't plan on getting it any time soon. I'm a good driver though. So ignore the stories about the tree and the community service guy. Lies.

I didn't used to get scared easily, but lately I find myself fearful of losing everything in one split second. Don't ask me why, because I don't have the slightest idea as to why I am like this.

Do I get mad easily? No, I don't. If I seem mad to you, I promise I'm probably not. I've had alot - and I do mean ALOT- on my mind lately and I guess I've started coming off as a rude bitch to most people, and I'm sorry. I really don't mean to.

One thing about me that people tend to get pissed off about is that I don't sugar-coat the truth. If you ask me a question, I'm going to tell you the answer whether it hurts your feelings or not. Unless it's something like "What's wrong?" Shit like that just pisses me off. I promise you, you don't even want to know.

I don't have many friends, but that doesn't really bother me. I have all the friends I truly need, and the rest are accquaintances I've been lucky enough to know.

I don't do a whole lot of talking, simply because I don't have anything to say. Seriously, if I talk alot (alot being about ten minutes straight) I get light-headed and winded simply because I don't do a whole lot of it. I keep my feelings all bottled up inside until they completely explode, and  that explosion is usually not pretty... ask Evan. He's seen it. So please, if I'm not talking, don't ask me what's wrong. I just don't have anything to say you wanna hear, so leave it at that. The way I look at it is that if you're not in my top five, you're on a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know.

Do I think I'm some one every one should know? No, probably not. Because if you knew everything about me, you might wish you'd never even heard of me.

Sorry, but that's the way it is.

When You're Broken.

I used to think teenagers that killed themselves, ran away, or cut themselves were just stupid kids that thought their lives sucked and there was no other way out. I thought they were just crying out for attention just because one little thing was wrong: a boyfriend/ girlfriend dumped them, they failed English class, they got grounded, etc.

But over the past eight months, I've been forced to eat alot of the harsh words I've spoken towards those kids. I've been there. And now I really understand why they do what they do.

They're not stupid, silly, rebellious, seeking attention, or just depressed. No, that's not it at all. In all honesty, they're simply broken, lost, hurt, and they've quite frankly lost all hope.

Even when there are a million people that care about you, in one split second, all that can fade away, and you feel like you're completely alone in this world. And it sucks to know that just one person can make you feel this way.

If you've never been there, you're damn lucky. If you have, you're not alone.

I'm not saying suicide, running away, or even cutting is okay. It's really not, there's always a better way... but sometimes, that better way just doesn't show itself in time.

Instead of judging these kids, why don't we take the time to ask them "Are you okay?" or "Do you want to talk?"

When you say harsh words to a teenager you don't know, you may be pushing them further and further towards the edge. And if you do, then you're one of the reasons they killed themselves, ran away, or cut themselves. And that should make you feel like shit.

If you look at it this way, it takes all those negative, judgemental people to drive that one broken, weak teenage girl or boy to the breaking point, when it would only take one of them to save that person's life with a simple act of kindness.

I hate knowing I've been one of those judgemental people, but I have been. But now that I've been there for myself, and felt the pain and the sorrow that comes along with it, I wish I saw those kids then as I see them now.

When you're broken, and don't know where to turn. Every tear falls down for a reason. You make mistakes, you create battle scars that won't ever heal on your heart. Never look back, but never forget. All of this just makes you that much stronger.

Too bad I can't take my own advice.

Things to Love.

I love...

Books,

Jump roping,

History,

Reality tv,

Pretty dresses,

Hugs,

Complete trust,

Long talks,

Texts from last night,

Movie nights with the girls,

My insane older brother,

Sunshine,

Forgiveness,

Random acts of kindness,

Stupid movies,

Silly people,

My best friend,

Nerdy boys,

Birthdays,

Swing sets,

Genuinely happy people,

People that surprise you,

Learning,

Writing ♥,

Trampolines,

Summer 2010,

Inside jokes,

People that change your life,

Codenames,

Memories,

Inner beauty,

Holding hands,

Colorado,

Tears of joy,

Hoodies,

Smiling,

Boys that smell good,

Documentaries,

My baby brother,

Meaning what you say,

Old pictures,

My daddy,

Adorable little kids,

Mexican food,

Dedication,

New friends,

And most importantly, my amazing boyfriend who means the world to me. ♥

Lean On Me.

Everyone seems to have that one person you can lean on when things get tough. That person who always has a kind word to say, and never judges you no matter what you did.

I had a friend like that once, and then we drifted apart and I chose a new friend who I trusted with EVERYTHING, but I now know that was a mistake.

Now that Karlin is gone, Evan and I are best friends again. He was my first real friend, and he's stuck with me through everything. After all the times I've yelled at him, insulted him, and been a straight-up bitch, he never gave up on me.

I'll absolutely never forget that. I always thought that I was the only person I could trust with my life, my secrets, and my hopes, but now I know that sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what; maybe you’ll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding, but there is also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along.

And yes, I did steal that from Bride Wars(;

Already Gone.

Mom: "Well this is going to be your last weekend at home, and I want you to enjoy it."

And boy, am I ever glad it will be. I've got plans for this summer, and staying in this piece of shit town isn't one of them. Let's see.... I'm going to North Carolina, Seattle, and Dallas. And my sister is coming in from Dallas to stay for a month.

I'll get to go to the gym every day and I'll get to go to the fights every weekend.

I'll make new friends this summer, and I'll learn more about life in one day in Manchester than I could ever learn in ten years in A-ville.

We're going out on the lake, having cook outs, and I'm going to Covington to see the family some. Also, Chelsey is coming up from Mississippi to see me and I haven't seen her since Christmas.

The only thing that could make this summer better is if I got to see Tyler graduate. And I think he understands why I can't be there.

But even if I do miss it, there's all summer for me to see my brother before he leaves.

Summer 2010 is looking pretty damn good. ♥

Sometimes.

Sometimes the only way to overcome a circumstance is some one giving some one else a fighting chance.

Everyone needs something to hope for. Every little girl deserves to feel beautiful every day. But sadly, that rarely ever happens.

Every little girl should have a dream that comes true.

Every girl should be able to do whatever she wants to in her life.

Whether she wants to be a lawyer, a model, a vet, or just a stay-at-home mom.

They all deserve some one who loves them and everything about them, even those little flaws every one else seems to hate.

Some girls have things just handed to them, but others have to fight for what they want and work hard to get it. And those are the girls who are often overlooked.

Every girl is beautiful in their own way, whether they realize it or not.

Every girl has the power to be some one important.

But mostly, every girl just needs some one to stand behind them and catch them when they fall and say, "It's okay. I love you anyway."

But that doesn't happen, because guys don't get it.

This Time Is Over.

My brother is graduating high school! It seems like yesterday that he was just my wittle big brother. He taught me to swim, ride a bike, and he also tried to kill me several times.

He pushed me down a well (and pulled me out... of course, the heroic pulling Anni out of the well part is the only part people remember).

He's helped me with homework.

He's been the best big brother I could ever ask for. And I'm not ready for him to leave. I don't see him enough now, much less when he goes to college):

This time is over, it's time to start again.

No matter what happens, you'll always be my big brother, and I'll always love you. ♥

Things I Have Learned.... From Experience.

Do not stick a knife into a light socket. Bad idea.

Look both ways before crossing the street.

Do not cuss in front of your preacher... apparently it's a sin.

A tennis racket will not help you walk on water.

Apparently you can be arrested for jumping off a bridge into the river.

Parents do not like having to pick you up from jail.

The glass in windows does not stop baseballs hit by ceiling fans.

Ceiling fans can hit baseballs a long way.

The spin cycle on the dryer makes cats dizzy.

Old ladies sometimes carry purses filled with rocks.

They will use them. ^^^

Throwing a cat in water will not teach it to swim. It will only piss it off.

When sewing an apron, make sure your sleeve is not in the way otherwise you will sew yourself to the apron.

If some one says they are going to throw up... they usually mean it.

Everything you need to learn from school you learn in kindergarten through second grade.

Play nice with the other kids. (Until the other kid gets cocky, then you kick the other kid's ass).

Just because you throw a ball in the air and don't see it come down does not mean it won't land on your head.

Parents are NOT always right.

The gas pedal is on the right and the break is on the left- ALWAYS ON THE LEFT.

Disney movies can cause deep thinking late at night.

They can also cause nightmares... depending on the movie.

A king-sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a two-thousand-square-foot house four inches deep.

Whoever said to love thy neighbor never had to live next to a BOBKITTEN.

Letting two puppies loose in Wal-Mart = very bad idea.

Most important thing I have learned:

Live your life, don't regret doing crazy things, but next time think twice... and do it anyways.

Always Remember to...

Smile at strangers on the street.

Dance when no one's around.

Love with all your heart.

Believe in promises.

Play like a kid.

Dream of the future.

Write to live.

Inspire others and yourself.

Try everything once.

Work hard.

Trust your heart.

Wish on shooting starts.

Listen to the voice in your head.

Cherish all the memories.

Learn something new every day.

Sing your heart out.

Care about yourself.

Whisper late at night.

Wonder about the mysteries of life.

Pray every night.

Hope for the best.

Imagine how things could be different.

Share your life stories.

Laugh when you want to cry.

Know that things could always be worse. ♥

Random.

1. I think Michael Phelps is one of the best looking men on the planet.

2. I do not have my learner's permit.

3. I love writing. It's the best. ♥

4. I leave the water running when I brush my teeth.

5. I hate Oreos.

6. I only eat celery to take the sting of spicy food.

7. I hate peanut butter.

8. I have six brothers and two sisters.

9. I was born one month early. I wasn't due until 30 January of 1995.

10. My mom and I hate each other.

11. I hate slow drivers.

12. I'm a germ freak.

13. My class ring has the March birthstone in it, even though my birthday is in December.

14. I do not have a hero. Sorry.

15. My seven year old cousin knew how to spell Cincinnati before I did.

16. I've had 3 dogs in my lifetime, and they are all now dead.

17. I have a boyfriend. And he's the cutest.

18. I don't usually pay attention in church. I'ma rebel. XD Ha.

19. My favorite movie is My Cousin Vinny.

20. Evan and Robert are my best friends.

21. I tend to push the "F You" button when people call me.

22. I talk fast.

23. I'm not a public speaker.

24. I can't cook worth a shit.

25. I actually love to get dressed up.

26. I have been to the beach 3 times.

27. I buried a kitten alive when I was six.

28. I don't want kids, but I'll probably end up with them anyways.

29. I don't eat broken cookies.

30. My nails are really long because I hate cutting them. It feels weird.

31. Babies are the cutest. ♥

32. My favorite song is "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.

33. My favorite book is Redeeming Love.

34. Cats are better than dogs.

35. My favorite flower is a daisy.

36. Do not buy me flowers ^^^ I suck at keeping them alive. They always die. Sorry.

37. I'm a cheerleader.

38. White tigers are very pretty(:

39. My best friend turned out to be a lying, backstabbing whore. Who knew?

40. I think I'm going to be a Republican.

41. I don't like Obama. At all.

42. A woman should not be president. Sorry, Sarah.

43. I've been arrested.... more than once.

44. I've done some pretty crazy shit back in the day.

45. The teenage versions Ralph Macchio, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Jeff East are damn sexy. No doubt.

46. The prettiest celebrity is Jennifer Love Hewitt.

47. I've been told I look like Demi Lovato... I don't see it.

48. Avery Smith looks EXACTLY like me. People swear up and down he's my son, but he's not.

49. Anni Smith has the same name as me(:

50. I say things out loud that most people think in their heads.

51. I hate it when people ask me if I'm sure about something.

52. I probably cuss way too much.

53. I'm an insomniac.

54. Depending on who you are, I may or may not text you back. :D

55. I'm going to be an aunt soon. I feel old. /:

56. My mom's name is Amber & my dad's is Chuck.

57. I am always right(:

58. I usually make good grades.

59. I am getting tired of thinking of random shit about me.

60. Bye bye now.

It's the little things.

That mean the most...

Skies full of stars.

Waves crashing on the shore.

The butterflies when he says "I love you."

Cheering with a smile on my face.

The feeling I get when I write.

Chasing time as it passes by.

Light that erases the dark.

Getting a hug from my best friend on a bad day and hearing: "It's gonna be okay."

Wearing a hoodie on days when you feel like crap.

Hunter's "Good morning, have a good day, love you." text messages.

The peaceful feeling you get when you rock a baby to sleep at three in the morning.

Smiling when you want to cry.

Knowing that courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the little voice inside you when you go to bed at night that says: "It's okay... I'll try again tomorrow."

♥

My Priorities.

My mama has told me I don't have my priorities in order. I haven't decided whether or not I think she's right. Maybe my priorities are right for me and only me. And what exactly is a friggin priority in the first place? According to dictionary.com , a priority is this:

1. the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc.


2. the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence.

3. the right to take precedence in obtaining certain supplies, services, facilities, etc., esp. during a shortage.

4. something given special attention.
 
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/priority)
 
Well... I assume the one of those my mother is speaking of is number four... something I give special attention to... hmm... well, just to humor my mother, here are my top ten priorities.
 
10. Making sure I don't kill myself walking across the road to walk the damn dog.
 
9. Keeping up my grades in school. Although this time of year I'm to the point where I don't give a shit what my grades are like. I'm ready for summer. And I'm ready to leave.
 
8. Drama. And making sure I stay out of it. The last thing I need is a shitload of drama to deal with.
 
7. Chloé. I'm worried about her more now that Brad and Kelly are divorced. The poor kid thinks it's her fault and no one's bothering to tell her it's not, and it's quite frankly pissing me off.
 
6. My dad. I worry about him when he travels. The second last thing I need is for a terrorist to crash his plane. That would suck. Really bad.
 
5. Nick, Tyler, Nathan, JP, Ethan, and Brayden. Brothers suck sometimes, but I love them.
 
4. Where I'm going to end up living. I can't help but think about this every day... for a pretty good portion of the day.
 
3. Robert. Yes, Mother. My boyfriend comes before grades, my family, and my dog... aren't I a bad child? >:D
 
2. My writing. No matter how much QB, TH, and MER tell me I'm not good, I really don't care about their opinions. I still think I'm good. Wait, scratch that. I KNOW I'm good. What now?
 
1. Myself. Selfish, hmm, Mother? But yes, I am my number one priority. I'm tired of worrying about everyone else and what everyone is going to say about what I do or say. I'm tired of having to live my life to please people- and especially you. It never worked well in the past, and it sure as hell won't work in the future.
 
So, there you are. ^^^ Those are my priorities. Get over it. They won't change for you.