Life Lessons by Anni York.

1. Never hire a colorblind techinician.

2. If God didn't want me to do it, He would have stopped me.

3. If you're going to talk about me behind my back, then you're already in the position to kiss my ass.

4. Life isn't a garden, so don't be a hoe.

5. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe "Daylight Saving Time."

6. If you say you want to 'be some body', you should probably be more specific.

7. Life isn't fair, but it's all good.

8. Life is too short to spend time hating some one.... but who gives a shit. Do it anyway!

9. Parents don't like having to pick you up from the county jail at one in the morning.

10. No matter what happens, some body will find a way to take it too seriously.

11. The girl is always right. Always.

12. When a girl says "You can pick", what she really means is "Whatever you pick will be wrong."

13. Life isn't measured by how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. Just don't hold your breath too long.

14. Be willing to die for some one. LOL JK that'd kill you.

15. It takes more effort to yell at some one than it does to bitch slap them.

16. There is a very fine line between "liking" and "stalking".

17. When trouble come around and things look bad, there is always one person who comes up with a solution and is willing to take command. Most of the time, that person is crazy.

18. Parents just wanna be the boss.

19. Lead, follow, or get out of the damn way.

20. Don't always rely on the flower.

21. Love is awkward, but so is becoming a crazy cat lady.

22. If you're not going to talk, you have to talk about not talking.

23. Your heart is not broken. If it was, you'd be dead. Shut up.

24. It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth shut than to open it and prove it.

25. You're not as alone as you feel.

26. Freak out sometimes.

27. If you run through a store yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?" at fifteen, it will embarrass the hell out of your mother.

28. There shall always be bitches, bitch.

29. If you turn two puppies loose in Wal-Mart, every time after that the clerks will look at you suspiciously.

30. Saying "fuck you too" to a preacher is a bad idea.

31. Telling a girl named Angel to go to hell is always hilarious. Always.

32. Just because some one has a hard head, doesn't mean a beer bottle won't knock them out.

That is all. Unless I think of more. :D