96 Reasons I hate Twilight.

1. Bella is a perfect character, which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.


2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.

3. She can’t do anything without Edward.

4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.

5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.

6. The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.

7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.

8. Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.

9. The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.

10. Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.

11. Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.

12. The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.

13. If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?

14. Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.

15. Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t question her? Real parents aren’t that way.

16. Lack of character development.

17. Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.

18. People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.

19. Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.

20. It’s too cliché.

21. This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.

22. Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.

23. You don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.

24. Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of “Show, don’t tell”?

25. She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.

26. Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.

27. Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.

28. There is too much face touching.

29. It’s predictable, and childish.

30. We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.

31. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.

32. Vampires can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!

33. Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.

34. People think Meyer is the best writer ever.

35. The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.

36. Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.

37. Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?

38. It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?

39. They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.

40. Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.

41. Every Other Facebookbumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.

42. Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.

43. Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.

44. It’s stupid.

45. Bella.

46. Bella is Edward’s beard.

47. Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.

48. Straight men sparkle?

49. It’s teeming with grammatical errors.

50. Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.

51. Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.

52. Do any guys actually like Twilight?

53. If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.

54. There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.

55. They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.

56. They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.

57. It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.

58. Edward is HOT. We get it.

59. She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.

60. There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.

61. All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as… “What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”

62. And this… “do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? you shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”

63. And this… “you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”

64. Isn’t funny how Twilight fans can’t spell and use proper capitalization? By the way,61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.

65. The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.

66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.

67. Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.

68. We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.

69. Vampires vs. werewolves (isn’t that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)

70. There’s nothing worse than a fan girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep reading those books, chickies.

71. This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.

72. Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.

73. WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight Fan Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the ‘cool vampire powers’ they gained from reading the series. Awesome!

74. Even if you like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.

75. Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.

76. “And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.

77. A hundred years difference = pedophile.

78. It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If you leave me, I will kill myself.”

79. Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.

80. New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward

81. You may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.

82. Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I love him.’

83. The only reason I kept reading was to see if Bella could redeem herself by getting over him.

84. Jacob, who didn’t abuse Bella and was nice to her, was dumped and she chose Edward. Hmm, masochistic much?

85. Ms. Meyer writes the way I did when I was twelve years old, doodling in my journal.

86. “It would have been much better if Jacob and Edward discovered they were gay: no sequels, no whiny Bella. Amen to that.”

87. Many people have enjoyed the making of this, many have helped with it too…in other words lots of people hate Twilight.

88. You are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight fans don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.

89. Your grandmother doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.

90. “Cause it’s dumb.” – Random Person on the Street

91. “It’s annoying as hell.” – Random Person on the Street #2

92. Martin Luther would not have not have approved if the book was written during his lifetime.

93. Harry Potter could beat Edward any day with his magic powers.

94. It’s offensive to the entire human race, both male and female.

95. If Edward is so hot, get some one ALOT fucking sexier than Robert Pattinson to play him in the movie. Thanks.

96. The book was so bad we wrote 95 reasons why we hate it.

Hey! Shrink! Leave me alone!

Dr. Huston,



Hello. I would like to apologize ahead of time if any of this letter comes off as rude, or if I sound to you like I am a bratty fifteen-year-old with an attitude problem. Sometimes that just happens.

I've noticed you always get up in the air about me using the word “really”. And you always say the same thing: “Why would you use that word? What’s the point? It’s a useless word.” No word in the world is useless. Every word (just like everything else in life) has a use of some sort. I’m pretty sure I recall you telling me once that “You don’t always have to please other people” so if I choose "really" when I want to use an intensifier, I'm not sure why I should care what you think of it.

I don’t feel it is your place to correct my speech. That is what my English teacher is for. We’re not paying you to correct my speech. Maybe I don’t like some things about the way you speak, either. And while I understand that you are trying to see how I think, I'm sure there are more sympathetic ways of going about it. Criticizing and arguing with me might show you how I think, but it puts me on the defensive. It feels hurtful.

During our meetings, it seems to me you don't listen to what I’m saying to you. You hear it, but I don’t feel that you are truly LISTENING to what I am trying to tell you. I always thought that a psychologist was supposed to be someone helpful that you could talk to and feel like you’re working through things. Dr. Hutson, when I talk to you, I don’t feel like I’m working through anything. I feel put on the spot. Arguing with you only makes me feel awful. It reflects badly on me because I am the fifteen-year-old and I should have respect for you. But you don’t seem to care to communicate respect for me, in the way you speak to me. My mother and father aren’t the only problems I have, and rather than making petty criticism of my superficial habits a part of our sessions, I'd appreciate it if you'd take a few minutes to ask me what is on MY mind, and really listen. If you can correct the way I talk, you can certainly ask what else is bothering me, and try to help me find insight rather than just finding fault.

'Really' is just my way of emphasizing a point. Just like many others might say 'very', or 'quite' or 'truly', even, I use 'really' because that's how my speech patterns developed. I'm trying to stress something that seems important to me. According to most dictionaries, 'really' can be used in place of 'actually' or 'truly'. For example, in the phrase 'a really honest man', we have the word standing in for 'truly', and in 'horseshoe crabs aren't really crabs', it's standing in for 'actually.'

Seeing as I'm fifteen-years-old, and I've been speaking this way for years, I honestly don’t believe I should have to change the way I speak just for you. It does not help me when you harp on my choice of words. I’m a lot younger than you, and I haven’t gone to college yet, so my speech isn’t going to be as good as you’d like. Can't you just accept that?

I expect I am going to continue to use the word “really” unless you can point out respectfully how I'd benefit from making the effort to change my habit. I will try to stop saying “I don’t know” for your sake. I’m sorry I have a verbal pattern that you apparently find annoying, but I’m Anni, not John Hutson and that’s the way it is.


Sincerely,
- Margaret Anne York

The Bucket List.

Learn French.

Fall in love.


Jump off a cliff into deep water.


Go to Colorado.


Go rock climbing.


See the Northern Lights.


Visit the Pyramds of Giza.


Go to New York.


Visit the Sears Tower in Chicago.


Adopt a little girl from Vietnam.


Learn Calligraphy.


Read all of Agatha Christie's mystery novels.


Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty.


Finish High School.


Volunteer at a nursing home.


Write and publish a book. ♥


Get married.


Have a large family.


Swim with dolphins.


Live in a Colonial house.


Stop worrying.


Watch the sunset.


Be truly happy.


Visit all 50 states.


Stay up for 24 hours.


Bowl a 200.


Be in a play.


Perfect my cursive handwriting.


Ride on a train.


Try hang gliding.


Go to a school dance.


Make my father proud of me.


Own a car.


Write a love note.


Sprinkle salt on railroad tracks (yes, I know this is illegal).


Wear a bracelet without taking it off for a year.


Roll down a hill on my side.


Get a henna tattoo.


Be myself around some one and not give a damn what they think.


Get certified in CPR.


Go camping- JUST ONCE.


Plant a tree.


Visit the Statue of Liberty.


Hear my mom say she's proud of me.


Paint a pretty picture.


Apologize to my mother, grandmother, step dad, and a few other people for hurting them in the ways I did.


Tell my mother to kiss my ass.

Life Lessons by Anni York.

1. Never hire a colorblind techinician.

2. If God didn't want me to do it, He would have stopped me.

3. If you're going to talk about me behind my back, then you're already in the position to kiss my ass.

4. Life isn't a garden, so don't be a hoe.

5. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe "Daylight Saving Time."

6. If you say you want to 'be some body', you should probably be more specific.

7. Life isn't fair, but it's all good.

8. Life is too short to spend time hating some one.... but who gives a shit. Do it anyway!

9. Parents don't like having to pick you up from the county jail at one in the morning.

10. No matter what happens, some body will find a way to take it too seriously.

11. The girl is always right. Always.

12. When a girl says "You can pick", what she really means is "Whatever you pick will be wrong."

13. Life isn't measured by how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. Just don't hold your breath too long.

14. Be willing to die for some one. LOL JK that'd kill you.

15. It takes more effort to yell at some one than it does to bitch slap them.

16. There is a very fine line between "liking" and "stalking".

17. When trouble come around and things look bad, there is always one person who comes up with a solution and is willing to take command. Most of the time, that person is crazy.

18. Parents just wanna be the boss.

19. Lead, follow, or get out of the damn way.

20. Don't always rely on the flower.

21. Love is awkward, but so is becoming a crazy cat lady.

22. If you're not going to talk, you have to talk about not talking.

23. Your heart is not broken. If it was, you'd be dead. Shut up.

24. It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth shut than to open it and prove it.

25. You're not as alone as you feel.

26. Freak out sometimes.

27. If you run through a store yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?" at fifteen, it will embarrass the hell out of your mother.

28. There shall always be bitches, bitch.

29. If you turn two puppies loose in Wal-Mart, every time after that the clerks will look at you suspiciously.

30. Saying "fuck you too" to a preacher is a bad idea.

31. Telling a girl named Angel to go to hell is always hilarious. Always.

32. Just because some one has a hard head, doesn't mean a beer bottle won't knock them out.

That is all. Unless I think of more. :D